INSPIRED BY ERNST | drowned with two stories

In 1930s Germany, a mother and father watched the lives of their fourteen (yes, fourteen!) children divide. The eldest children had left home for America. They immigrated to Connecticut; one of them is my great-grandfather. The younger children remained in Germany in the heart of World War II. None would live past the age of 37.

Between the prosperity of those who left for America and the destitution of the ones who remained to see Germany through the war, there is outlier in the family of fourteen - Ernst. The footnote on his records says, “drowned in the Rhine River”.

There are two, completely different, absolutely plausible stories that could have led to his ending.

The simple story is from one other detail in that footnote: “drowned in the Rhine River during a seizure”. During a seizure. Epilepsy runs in the family, affecting descendants even today in 2020. If this is the case, Ernst is the earliest known relative to have it - that’s over 100 years of epilepsy in one blood line.

Swimming (and baths) are one of the more high risk activities a person with active epilepsy can do, so it’s plausible to imagine 24-year-old Ernst in 1930s swimwear, leisurely floating the winding river, when an unexpected seizure came over him and left him unconscious under deep water.

The more complex story is to look more closely at timelines, history, and maps. It was June of 1938 - the rumbling beginnings of World War II. German troops already occupied Vienna, Austria and Hitler declared to destroy Czechoslovakia just one week before Ernst’s death. And as for maps? The Rhine River, where Ernst drowned, separates Germany from its famously neutral neighbor - Switzerland.

Could something have gone wrong in Ernst’s attempt to cross the river to safer borders? There’s no way to know, but when you consider the lives of his other German-residing siblings, you think maybe he had a hunch for what was coming. In the next few years, one brother would be killed in the Siege of Leningrad and another in the largest confrontation of World War II - the Battle of Stalingrad. Seven of the siblings would die in Germany within eleven years, all deceased before 1950, all before age 37.

Two plausible stories, no way to ever know the full truth. Maybe it’s the love of unsolved mysteries in me, that makes this particular family history tale stand out to me despite the lack of details. The contrast between the lives of the American-bound siblings, the Germany siblings, and Ernst - right in the middle with a sad ending in the middle of a river - brings World War II history to a much more personal level. I wish I knew more about Ernst and his fateful day in the Rhine, but for now I connect with him by paying tribute to his story through these pictures.

We went to a gentle, winding, river that maybe feels a little bit like the Rhine River meeting the Black Forest in Germany. With an outfit reminiscent of a 1930s bathing costume, we photographed until the sun went down without another soul in sight. The sunset, the warm glittery water with tiny fish, the forest, it was perfect!

If you’re wondering, isn’t Ernst a man? Yes, this is my great-uncle who I’ve chosen to portray with a female model. Through history, it has always been more common to preserve the records and stories of men. Female ancestors are equally important though often dismissed as simply “wife of so-and-so” or “daughter of so-and-so” with no other information. I am portraying male ancestors with women models, because every male ancestor came from a woman. And so I honor him. And I honor her.

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INSPIRED BY NANA | a newlywed prom
INSPIRED BY GRANDMA | Grandma Kaiser and the nudists

INSPIRED BY NANA | a newlywed prom

I grew up with a framed, black and white portrait of my grandparents hanging on our living room wall. It was right by the family computer desk, where I spent too many hours playing, so I was very familiar with that picture. He was in a suit, she was in a white formal gown. There are hints of fancy decor around the edges. For the longest time, I figured it must be a picture from their wedding. I was wrong! Years later I learned that the picture is from their 1956 prom. But the thing you ought to know about the prom photo is….

… that they were already married!

He was senior class president, she was class secretary. Together they were a part of the morning announcements, senior prom committee, and were in the running to be King and Queen.

GRAMPS: My best friend was the king and Nana’s best friend was the queen. [But] of course, all the kids, all the members of our class, were all upset because they wanted it to be us. But the school didn’t want it.

Because, they were married.

In December, they had been married in a small wedding ceremony where Nana wore a white dress suit and the next month they attended senior prom where she wore a formal white gown. Since they were living together, there was no need for Gramps to come pick her up at the door of her mother’s home. They simply hopped in backseat of their friend’s car (they themselves carless) and made their way to Milford High’s “Stairway to the Stars.” They would have walked in to see the spiral staircase that Gramps’ recent stepfather Carl made for the event, complete with “wire netting and cotton candy stuffing for clouds” so that the seniors “could really walk up it into the clouds [where] we hung stars”.

Being the married couple at the senior prom wasn’t all hearts and stars. I asked Gramps if he had any particularly fond memories from the event (he said the afterparty) and then if there were any particularly negative memories.

GRAMPS: I think the only negative thing was [the papers] made a big deal about us being married, you know. They would come in... and want to take a picture of the married couple. They would try to get in there, make it a big deal, trying to capitalize on the event. We made the newspapers. I think my mother somewhere probably has an article from the newspaper (laughs).

Nana’s presence at the prom as a married woman did not go unnoticed and it did not happen in vain. In that time, married women had not been allowed to continue school. Using their connections in the community and being in the class presidency, Nana and Gramps petitioned for her to finish her senior year. They brought the issue directly to the Board of Education - and they agreed. Not only Nana, but another female student who was married that year was allowed to stay as well. One student who left to have a baby was permitted to return. The norms were changed.

GRAMPS: All because of Nana.

GRAMPS: The thing is that if you look at that picture, I think, mom’s hand, you can see the wedding ring on her hand.

And I am fortunate enough to be the recipient of that ring after Nana passed away in 2007. I kept her ring in the red, velvet mortuary bag since the day it was handed to me when I was sixteen. I always knew that I would use it as my own wedding ring one day. And I did! I should add that in true Gramps nature, he approached me after my wedding ceremony and said, “You know, I’ve been trying to remember what I did with that thing!”

We were able to use Nana’s original ring from that original prom picture in this photoshoot. To add another layer of connection between her marriage and mine, we used my original veil from my 2012 wedding in the shoot as well.

I searched high and low for the perfect vintage dress to go with these pictures. Something that felt “prom” just as much “wedding” like Nana’s prom photo does. I was only working off my memory off the prom photo, which I hadn’t seen in years, but when the listing for this dress came up on my screen, I knew it was the one. A month later I was able to track down that original prom photo and it truly was a perfect match.

If the thought crossed your mind, “My goodness this girl looks to young to be modeling a bridal look!” 1) you’re right but also 2) I purposefully chose someone the same age Nana had been when she was married in 1955.

We drove out to a quaint historic schoolhouse for the shoot. It’s all a little bit prom, a little bit bridal, and all at a little pink school house. This was the project I set out to do this summer and I’m so happy it’s all here.

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INSPIRED BY GRANDMA | Grandma Kaiser and the nudists

INSPIRED BY SAINT LUCIA | Scandinavian Christmas is my favorite Christmas

I can’t claim any Scandinavian heritage of my own, but that doesn’t stop me from loving so much of the art, culture, design, and history from that part of the globe. Especially at Christmastime! Who doesn’t love a good Scandinavian Christmas? This shoot was inspired by Saint Lucia and the December 13th holiday that honors her. I MAY OR MAY NOT have first learned about this tradition from Kirsten, my Swedish immigrant American Girl Doll. Anyways.

Lucia was a young girl who helped persecuted Christians in Rome around 300 AD. As they hid below in the catacombs of the city, Lucia would secretly bring food for them. She wore candles on her head so that both of her hands would be free to carry as much as she could. Lucia was martyred for her efforts in 304 AD. St. Lucia's Day is now celebrated by a girl wearing in a white dress with a red sash round her waist and a crown of candles on her head on December 13. This Scandinavian holiday coincides with Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, so her feast day has become a festival of light. 

I put together this Saint Lucia inspired shoot and loved learning all about her story along the way. I loved spending the afternoon with my former bride, Leanna, as my Scandinavian model. When you see artistic depictions of Saint Lucia, you see why Leanna was obviously the model I picked! Another lovely former bride of mine, Jana, lent me her vintage stole for the shoot. The tulle skirt was a originally a wedding dress from a thrift store (my sister and I chopped the top!). I crafted the wreath of candles and I’m actually kinda bummed I didn’t keep it to be a part of my holiday decor.

Happy Saint Lucia's Day! 

SEE ALSO
INSPIRED BY GRANDMA | Grandma Kaiser and the nudists
INSPIRED BY THE TETONS | a wind-swept periwinkle bridal wonderland thanks to our gal Faith Hill